Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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