He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
