I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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