i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
