If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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