My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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