Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
