I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
