his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
