i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
