My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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