you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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