I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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