One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
