Non-Jews are for practice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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