It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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