But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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