And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
