jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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