Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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