The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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