i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
