O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
