i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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