Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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