so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she pinky promised me she was 18
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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