So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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