he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
