And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
