I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
