there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
