I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
