their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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