dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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