oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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