Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
