I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Randomize
