i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
