Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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