He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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