It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
