Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
