um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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