Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
