And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
