it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
