I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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