my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
