She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
