I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
