I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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