Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
